Fun essay: 35 uses for trekking poles on the trail – Multi-Year Through-Hike the Pacific Crest Trail

Fun essay: 35 uses for trekking poles on the trail

This is an essay that I penned in my head while hiking the trail, for no particular reason than to try to see how many I could come up with!

THE USUAL — SPEED, ENERGY, EASE

Get less tired when your feet can just focus on powering ahead and don’t have to do the continual work of stabilizing you that your ams and poles do instead.
Establish a more regular cadence and rhythm that keeps you at a constant pace even as you’re getting tired — your feet follow the cadence set by your arms.
Reduce wear on your knees from the constant jarring of multi-mile multi-hour downhill sections, by absorbing some of the energy of each step down with your arms and body.
Hands feel better, less bloated, when kept at a higher level than hanging by the side, and also more active, hour after hour.
Put power into pole plants to push yourself along when very tired at the end of the day.
Keep balance when walking on slippery or submerged rocks across a stream, fording deep swift water, or when crossing on a log using high-wire balance.
Semi-pole-vault across narrow deep streams without rocks easier than run-and-jump.

DEALING WITH TRAIL INDIGNITIES

Push away bushes overgrowing the trail, sometimes with both arms extended ahead.
When trail is overgrown and bushes are soaking-wet-dripping with dew in the morning, hold poles outstretched to shake off dew before passing, to minimize getting drenched.
Swing up poles to clear away spider webs across trail, visible or imaginary.
Swat those huge ugly 5 oz. bugs that circle around you at 50 mph, to convince said bugs to circle around someone else. (Actually hit one once in midair with the pole!)
On narrow eroded trails with a steep drop-off, especially when overgrown or coved in snow, pole plants serve to continually probe the downhill side of the trail as you walk, to continually (but without thought) confirm to your brain the edge of terra firma, so as to avoid slipping off into the void.
Push yourself up to get over a log blocking the trail, and ease yourself down the other side.
Push away all those trail-crowding Poodle Dog bushes in Section D to avoid getting toxins on your clothing.

SNOW

Measure snow depth for reporting trail conditions to others.
Allow a much faster pace of travel when walking on slippery or packed snow so effort and time is not wasted by the feet on balance — the feet go wherever they go, and the arms keep it all together.
On steep snow traverses, with or without uphill ice axe in hand, the downhill pole serves the very important function of keeping the body at the correct angle to the slope to minimize the risk of slipping sideways and sliding off the trail or just falling down.
If sliding sideways off a steep trail without an ice axe in hand, poles with hands together provide a larger object to punch into the snow to arrest slide, provided conditions are not icy.

EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL

Legs and arms swinging simultaneously create a more zen-meditative state with body-mind balance.
The power, protection and a larger “physical swath” brought by poles can engender a “Master of the Universe” attitude to help cope with being absolutely alone in a huge wilderness.
Stomp ground hard with both poles in tandem as you walk to vent anger when something has enraged you, likely the insects, or the trail builder’s notions of what constitutes the best route, or whatever/whomever else you blame for your misery of the moment.
Increases significance of gesture when praying for even a single day without rain, hands outstretched to the sky, in carefully chosen moments while traversing the state of Washington.

CAMP

Use to hold up a tarp in lieu of having tent or poles.
When cowboy camping in a bivy sack with mesh over head for bugs, make tripod with poles and a stick from which to hang cord to hold mesh above face.
When bear bagging using counter-balance method with a high tree branch, use pole to hook the loop of cord you have (hopefully) made near the bottom of the food sack, to pull down the sack.
When cowboy camping (no tent or tarp), place poles lengthwise alongside sleeping bag to ward off evil spirits and strange animals. (Very effective, and surprisingly works just as well as a tent for these purposes.)

PEOPLE

ANIMALS AND SNAKES

When hiking at night in dense forest around sharp turns where your headlamp may not be visible from a distance, click poles together to give extra warning to a bear that you are coming. (Singing works better).
Allow yourself to maintain the fantasy that if a mountain lion attacks, you will have the time and presence of mind to yank off the rubber tip of a pole (which I use to avoid clacking noise), and then use sharp end to stab lion. (Good luck.)
Swat away a charging snake. (Apparently someone actually did this.)
Normal use makes thuds in the ground (with rubber tips again) that continually warn snakes of your approach better than just footfalls. (Speculative, maybe I see very few in the desert because the snakes just didn’t like me.)

HIKE DANCING

Facilitate “hike dancing” while listening to music along the trail, swinging arms and moving from side to side. Especially effective on rocky downhills where going around obstacles timed to the beat of the music is akin to slalom skiing.